hi! welcome to my seminar on how interesting and well written hawks is
MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD
let's talk about trauma, shall we?
certain parts of his trauma are kinda obvious (sorry bud), but we can break it down into a few key moments and topics
[ src : chapter 316 ]
having an incredibly broken family and being raised by the hpsc, an organization that prioritizes the mission over heroes' lives
how he bases his self worth on how useful he is to other people time and time again (like his mother even though she's broken to him)
society's expectations for heroes, the weight they have to carry and how that ties into:
his lofty goals of creating a world where heroes have more time (and how such a selfless goal has become selfish in a way or two)
let's start with his family
take a look at this in the official viz translation and all of it's glory and feel about a million different emotions at once with me
[ click for full ! src : chapter 299 ]
this page actually shows his doubts in his own heroism, something we don't typically see from mr. i-just-can't-hold-back-sometimes over here
it's proof that his confidence is at least partially fake, something he built up to likely gain popularity and keep himself relevant as a hero due to pressure from the hpsc. always climbing higher
honestly? that likely fed into his need to prove his worth even more but in different ways
at his trademark speed, always pushed further and further by the need to help
[ src : chapter 299 ]
his mother put a lot of pressure on him that very same day she asked why he even had those wings, because it's a question i feel he's asked himself way too much ever since that day. it is a loaded question
the guy who wants to save people didn't even want to save his own mother, never even talks about his father outside of bunching him into the broken people lot too. it stings, but he accepts that. his wings weren't made for just her and her needs
becoming a hero wasn't his choice, it was something he had to do. his wings compelled him, his mother needed money... it all built up into pressure to accept the hpsc's offer, like he could ever reject it though
[ src : chapter 266 ]
when something as big as being a hero is thrust onto someone who wants to prove their worth, it's a very dangerous and damaging combination
he always looks dead behind the eyes and tired as hell for good reason. he's pushing himself too hard, doing extra work, trying to achieve that goal of giving heroes more free time while denying that time for himself along the way all the same
he wants to make more free time for himself, and yet it's not for him, he's the one left doing a ton of extra work when he wants to be free
it's because he was a caged bird, shackled and forced to sing for the masses
[ click for full ! src : chapter 299 ]
he's talking about himself here. he finally gets to set aside the cocky hero act and be the polite man who just wants to take a nap and is willing to do all the hard work to get there with a plastered on smile
we're seeing keigo, not hawks. well, we're seeing as much keigo as we really can when it's a name no one's called him in over ten years. he's still someone who wants to help people at his core, believes in good and heroes and justice
he's free of his shackles, free from following orders and getting his hands dirty. he's back to just being a hero, not a spy with a mission
but time's are changing, dabi made sure they would change by revealing everything
that means helping endeavor, the man who's not so different from the criminals he locks up. specifically, the takami thief himself
even when it's clear that this has changed his opinion of endeavor, wiped away that perfect version of him, he wants to believe in the goodness of people despite his own trauma and his own father's actions
[ src : chapter 311 ]
everyone knows the power behind a name, but dabi wanted to play it up hard and it worked. we're lucky hawks has always been strong in the face of adversity and hopelessness, cause we get to see what that truly means in stark contrast to dabi himself
he's still got that glimmer in his eyes
[ src : chapter 316 ]
lady nagant gives us a fun perspective on just how badly hawks could've gotten. he's not the first person to be taken in totally by the hpsc like this and he's known it for a while. maybe even from the start honestly which is just worse
he's still optimistic! he still believes in heroes, no one's been able to destroy that not even himself. not even the long hours or shitty calls he's had to make, the blood on his hands, all of it
hawks is still hopeful, and there is no darkness dark enough to choke out that sort of light, the kind that thrives in the dark. all for the chance at doing some good, even if there's sacrifice needed from him
optimism at it's finest is always a better approach to any problems one may face in life
[ click for full ! src : chapter 316 ]
to conclude this to the best of my ability, hawks is a complicated and wonderful character. he's funny and sarcastic, full of light and hope yet he isn't without his spots of darkness too
he's proof that we don't all have to fall into our darker feelings, we're entirely capable of surviving despite it with our hope intact, even when we feel lost or distant from ourselves
sometimes, the cage door was always open.
you just had to walk out of it
[ src : chapter 315 ]